i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
