Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
