Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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