Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Terrible idea I love it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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