Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
