No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
