I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
