Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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(540): View more from Virginia

There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.

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(208): View more from Idaho

He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?

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(917): View more from New York City

just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.

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(863): View more from Florida

ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.

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