everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
