so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
