What did we do last night that was yellow?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I want her autograph on my taint
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
