I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
