The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
