She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
