CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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