Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
