How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
