One girl and one boy is just not enough.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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