If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
