Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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