I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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