So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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