so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
