I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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