dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
