I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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