i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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