I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
