It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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