The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Bring me that man meat
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize