speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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