I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
