Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
