after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
