the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
