Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize