She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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