but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
