Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
