Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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