he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
