So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How does it feel to date your dad?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
