I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
