I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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