Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Someone signed my nipple.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
