from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
