Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
