he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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