should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
