Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my sisters under your porch take her home
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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