You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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