Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
