Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
