Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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