How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
