Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
