Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
