my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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