alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
