i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
