i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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