so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
