I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
