Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize