why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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